Born Too Slow - The Crystal Method

I had made up my mind to walk the entire first lap, just to give my calves a break. As I started, there were a ton of people cheering on the runners – and I felt like an idiot walking when everyone else was running. But I couldn’t run. Even when I tried to take a few steps at a slight jog, my calves howled with pain.

At the first mile marker, I saw that I had taken about 16 minutes to walk that distance. I did a quick calculation and knew I would make the 17-hour cut-off, even if I walked the entire run course. I didn’t like it, but I knew that my best run time over a long distance was about 12 minutes per mile. That meant that I only ran 66 percent faster than I could walk at a fast clip. I was willing to give up a third of my speed to have the energy to finish.

At the next aid station (complete with Pit Stop theme), I was so thankful they had a massage tent set up for cramps and aches. I told them what had happened with my calves, and they gave me a nice 5-minute rubdown of them. It felt so good!

Knowing how dehydrated I had gotten on the bike, I grabbed a cup of water and a cup of Gatorade, especially since I opted not to take the fuel belt. I walked the next mile to the next aid station (rock’n’roll theme again), and again, water and Gatorade.

The run course brought us into the transition area twice each lap, and we had a ‘special needs’ bag in that area. I had ibuprofen and Cheddar-flavored Chex Mix (I needed the salt!) in my bag. I had been taking salt tablets throughout the bike leg, and was taking them on the run, too. I debated whether or not to take my special needs bag now or wait to the next lap – I decided to wait.

The next aid station was super-hero themed, complete with a guy dressed as Batman, and one dressed as the Incredible Hulk. Everyone else had home-made capes on, and there were pictures of comic-book superheroes everywhere. Of course, Ironman had a nice big picture. I took on Gatorade and water and kept walking.

The next aid station also had a hero theme, but this time, it was inspirational signs with famous quotes of what made a hero. Again, more water, more Gatorade.

After that, the loop took us over a bridge (one lane was closed but traffic was going through both ways), then down through a gravel parking lot, along the bank of the other side of the river, and towards what seemed to be another aid station. By this time I was starting to get re-hydrated and was looking forward to the portajohn – my kidneys were about ready to burst. But at the last minute, the course took a hard right, away from the portajohns and the relief they promised.

Remember that horse-manure scent I thought I smelled in the swim? Turns out, it was – there was a horse corral that we ran by next. Then we started to go under a bridge, and into a park-like area. I didn’t remember that as part of the course – it seemed like we weren’t going the right way. But there were signs and volunteers marking the way, so it just seemed like I was getting lost.

So, through the park, past the people grilling hamburgers (I mentally abused them for having such tasty delights that tempted me!) and on to the next station, a military fort theme, where more water, more Gatorade and finally the portajohns awaited me.

The next part of the course was a nice ¾-mile or more climb up a pretty steep road section. The mountains/hills that surround Tempe had a few smaller relatives in this park, so it was pretty neat to be running along and all of a sudden – Bam! - there’s a mound jutting out of the ground next to you.

After that climb, there was a nice long descent to another aid station that was under a bridge where they REALLY cranked up the music. They were having a lot of fun, and it was hard not to poke a little fun at them for being “trolls under the bridge.”

After that, we ran past a marina and to the aid station that our course veered away from earlier. This one had a “Shootout at the OK Corral” theme, and there was a big, jovial guy there that I asked if he was nicknamed Cookie – he laughed and kept encouraging us along.

From here, we mirrored the course back to the bridge, back over, and along the river on the south side bank, past the other aid stations (hero, superhero) but these were the back-side of the aid station so there wasn’t a whole lot of excitement. I guess being a half-mile from the end of the lap was excitement enough.